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Author Topic: A question of etiquette/respect.  (Read 25533 times)
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IAmGray
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« on: February 25, 2006, 11:52:06 PM »

I figure this is as good a place as any to start this thread, since it pertains to local bands and the behaviour of members of local bands.  I realize this topic could cause some controversy/fighting, which is not my intent, but I've been thinking about it a lot and figured I'd start a discussion about it.  That said, although I don't intend to direct this post to any one person/band specifically, if you're a band member who takes what I'm posting about personally and feels as though it could be directly related to YOUR behaviour, maybe you should give your head a shake and attempt to view your own actions from the eyes of an outside observer, or come out and explain why you think I'm wrong.

I am not in a band myself, but consider myself to be a strong supporter of the local music scene here in this city, especially metal.  If I have the money and the time off work, you can pretty much bet that I'll be at the show.  Many of my friends are the same way, band members and fans alike, they will be at all the shows they can make it out to.

The question of etiquette/respect is this.  How can a band expect to be shown respect and support if their members do not show the same respect and support to the bands they share the stage with?  The last few shows I have been to, I have seen members of bands who appear right before they are about to go on stage, play their set, and then leave within 5 minutes of getting off the stage.  To me, this type of behaviour indicates selfishness and a complete lack of respect for the other bands.  I know if I was the one about to take that stage, or about to finish up my set and get off that stage, I would not be leaving the show and contributing to the empty space in front of the stage.  I would want to be there, filling up that space, to show my support to the other bands, because I can't imagine ANYONE enjoys playing to an empty room.  As a mere fan of local music, I understand this, having never been on that stage looking out onto the crowd (or lack thereof).  If I was a member of a band, I'd like to think my understanding of this concept would run even deeper.  Maybe I'm just crazy that way.

This is a topic that infuriates me and makes me want to go so far as to boycott bands whose members are notorious for that behaviour.  But then at the same time, it's not the fault of the entire band if one or two members demonstrate such a lackadaisical attitude towards the people they are playing shows with.  However, I feel it reflects poorly on the band as a whole in the long run, which is unfortunate.

Maybe the reason for this is simply that the band members don't really like the style of music of their band and the other bands that are playing that same show... to which I would ask, why be in a band that plays a style of music you don't like?  Is it just for the attention, just for the ego boost of being on the stage, no matter what you're doing?  Maybe my convictions are just too high... but that seems like a bogus reason to be in a band.  I'd think it would be for a love of the music, not because that's where the attention is.

Any other thoughts on this matter?  Am I completely wrong in seeing this type of behaviour as the ultimate "fuck you" to the other bands that are playing the show?  I'd like to hear what people think, and if I'm completely off track in this line of thinking, I encourage people to explain how only sticking around long enough to play your own set is anything other than disrespectful.
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« Reply #1 on: February 26, 2006, 02:17:15 AM »

Maybe "they" just don't like loud music. Huh
I wear ear plugs. Cheesy
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« Reply #2 on: February 26, 2006, 03:22:41 AM »

Maybe the bands have gear to unload, so they have to leave and get it back to their jamspot

Maybe, having never played a show in your life, you don't realize what a physical toll it takes to put on a good concert and when all is said and done, you need something to eat before you pass out.

Maybe, They have seen the next band a million times and could use a breath of fresh air, once again from the huge physical excertion.

Or in my case,  A band that has played here a couple times is playing right after me and I'd rather put my own balls in my mouth than sit through that.
« Last Edit: February 26, 2006, 03:24:57 AM by OnceFallen » Logged
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« Reply #3 on: February 26, 2006, 11:29:47 AM »

Quote from: IAmGray
if I'm completely off track in this line of thinking, I encourage people to explain how only sticking around long enough to play your own set is anything other than disrespectful.

thanks, Kevin.  And there's no sarcasm there.  And now... I'm going to comment on my agreement/disagreement with the points you brought up.

Maybe the bands have gear to unload, so they have to leave and get it back to their jamspot

If that's the case, cool.  I agree 100% that sometimes there IS stuff to do right afterwards.

But then there are also members of bands who I have seen leaving while the rest of the band is still packing their shit up... which sends the signal of purely just not giving a fuck about anyone else.  But then i guess the issue of who helps load gear is between the band members.  The point is though, that in some cases the person is leaving and it clearly has nothing to do with gear.

Quote
Maybe, having never played a show in your life, you don't realize what a physical toll it takes to put on a good concert and when all is said and done, you need something to eat before you pass out.

I can understand the fact that playing a show takes a lot out of a person.  However, I have also seen a lot of bands who have put on kickass live shows and still manage to stick around for the other bands.  I have also seen band members who, having put on an intense show and getting off the stage to realize that if they don't eat something they'll pass out, go grab something to eat and then come back.

Quote
Maybe, They have seen the next band a million times and could use a breath of fresh air, once again from the huge physical excertion.

That's true, but I'm not saying stepping outside for a breather is a sign of disrespect.  I'm talking about jumping off the stage, getting in the car, and driving away, and not coming back for the rest of the night.

Quote
Or in my case,  A band that has played here a couple times is playing right after me and I'd rather put my own balls in my mouth than sit through that.

Been to enough shows that yeah, you start to realize which bands you like and which bands make you want to put a bullet in your head.  Still, I have personally made a valiant effort to sit through many local bands that I hate just because the room was empty and I wanted to show support for the scene.  Maybe I'm just crazy like that.  Don't get me wrong though, I've walked out and stood outside to avoid hearing bands I don't like.  But I stick around and come back in for the other bands.  I don't leave altogether. 

And what if it's a case where a band who has members guilty of this sort of thing is a relatively new band, and the member(s) in question have NEVER been seen at a metal show other than when they're playing?  To not have even given the other bands a fair listen, EVER, that's the thing that bothers me most.  I have seen bands who have been around for a long time and have played many shows that only stick around for their own set... and to me it's still a sign of disrespect, but to see members of relatively brand new bands doing it, in a way I think it's even worse because they're at the point where they should be trying to make a name for themselves, a good name, trying to get support behind them... not end up being labelled as a bunch of jerks because of the actions of one or two of their members.

To me, a local band is about gaining local support first and foremost, and as a fan I like to see that the band members, ALL of the band members, give a shit about the people who will hopefully help them make it big by coming out to their shows and buying their merch.  I like to see them sticking around to check out the other bands and talking to the people who came out to watch them play. 

And although I appreciate having input showing things I might not have thought about, at the same time I don't 100% agree with the argument that I've never been in a band so I don't understand.  Because sometimes, it's pretty easy to read these kinds of actions.  I mean, we're talking about shows in Regina, where if it's at the exchange, and I'm outside having a smoke, I can see who's hauling gear and who just went to grab their coat and left without lifting a finger.  If I've been to most shows that some band has played, from damn near the very beginning of their career as a band, and have seen that with some members and some bands, there's a definite pattern that they show up 5 minutes before their set and leave as soon as they're off the stage, that's where it begins to become inexcusable to me.
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« Reply #4 on: February 26, 2006, 11:37:43 AM »

Maybe, having never played a show in your life, you don't realize what a physical toll it takes to put on a good concert and when all is said and done, you need something to eat before you pass out.



Oh fuck, this is hilarious.

That's all I'll say about that.

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« Reply #5 on: February 26, 2006, 01:42:38 PM »

I'm glad Naiomi brought this subject up as i have always thought the same thing. It's obviously a touchy subject, but bands have to realize that if you're playing a show its just common courtesy to stick around and watch the other bands. I mean if you can't stick around all the time, then thats understandable, but i've seen one or two bands who NEVER stay for the rest of they show. they play their set and then they're gone. If you want to stay in the scene playing shows you're going to have to learn to support the other bands.

I fully understand the point of "not liking some of the bands so why stay there and watch them".Infact there are times when i as a patron of the shows will just go outside while someone's set is on because i don't like their style of music. However, i highly doubt you play with the same bands all the time. So what's the excuse for not staying for a couple shows?

I mean it is your choice to leave or not, but you're losing respect from a few people by not showing respect to other bands!
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« Reply #6 on: February 26, 2006, 01:46:15 PM »

Oh fuck, this is hilarious.

That's all I'll say about that.


I didn't mean the kind of drunken rage show that you put on steph
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« Reply #7 on: February 26, 2006, 01:57:38 PM »

I'd like to point out that you (Naiomi) have never seen me play my set and then leave right away and not come back, because I strongly agree with staying until the end for the rest of the bands.  So I do stay.

To get right to the point.

Whatever, Activate blows in my opinion and their singer has no lung capacity.  I don't go to a metal show to watch 30 seconds of crap metal and then 5 minutes of some wanker showing off with yet another solo in another genre in every song. 

I don't doubt that at some point, everyone will realize this.

And then all shall be well.
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« Reply #8 on: February 26, 2006, 02:31:32 PM »


I didn't mean the kind of drunken rage show that you put on steph


Why I never
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« Reply #9 on: February 26, 2006, 02:40:41 PM »

I think I've only been drunk at one show that I've played actually. I mean, that move that you guys did where you all pretended you were holding a goblet or whatever does look pretty strenuous, I can understand why you would need food energy.
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« Reply #10 on: February 26, 2006, 04:20:00 PM »

I think I've only been drunk at one show that I've played actually. I mean, that move that you guys did where you all pretended you were holding a goblet or whatever does look pretty strenuous, I can understand why you would need food energy.

Fuck, have you ever held a glass ball?

They weigh a ton.


And my original comment was referring back to the barrage of punches I took on halloween from you shortly before you played
« Last Edit: February 26, 2006, 04:24:45 PM by OnceFallen » Logged
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« Reply #11 on: February 26, 2006, 04:31:00 PM »

hahahahahahahahaaha hhaahah

Is that what it is? A glass ball?

Well, in my dreams it's a goblet.

And I'm sure you fully deserved those punches.
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« Reply #12 on: February 26, 2006, 04:36:37 PM »

i kept thinking it's a grapefruit
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« Reply #13 on: February 26, 2006, 04:38:06 PM »

Invisible inverted necrofruit from the tree of azbathxxwtvz
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« Reply #14 on: February 26, 2006, 05:03:11 PM »

How is that pronounced?
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« Reply #15 on: February 26, 2006, 05:23:13 PM »

i think it's pronounced like as-bath-ZUH-witzzzz
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« Reply #16 on: February 26, 2006, 05:43:26 PM »

I'm going to have to go ahead and say you're wrong.
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« Reply #17 on: February 26, 2006, 05:52:16 PM »

It's pronounced exactly how it's spelled.

duh.
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« Reply #18 on: February 26, 2006, 05:56:47 PM »

OMG, you're like, such an uber snob.
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« Reply #19 on: February 26, 2006, 06:31:52 PM »


To get right to the point.

Whatever, Activate blows in my opinion and their singer has no lung capacity.  I don't go to a metal show to watch 30 seconds of crap metal and then 5 minutes of some wanker showing off with yet another solo in another genre in every song. 

I don't doubt that at some point, everyone will realize this.

And then all shall be well.

I guess a direct slam at my band, myself, our singer, and my guitar playing isn't a question of etiquette/respect for the scene and the people in it. Being in a band I obviously know that not everyone is going to like us, but a comment like this is totally uncalled for, especially considering the topic of this whole thread.

I knew from the first post that this was directed at us. In our defense, or our singers defense, us and Tracy both realize it looks bad that she's had to take off right after our set at our shows so far. This doesn't mean she doesn't want to stick around, or doesn't like the other bands, or has no respect for the other bands. She has had other things she has had to get to on those nights and wasn't able to stick around. She's always fairly busy and it just so happens on these nights she was busy. She'll be sticking around at our future shows whenever she can. She wants to.

As far as never been seen at metal shows before, I don't know if this was directed at all of us or just her, but I can assure you the rest of us have been to many metal shows. We used to live in Yorkton and Ituna and we would still drive down to every metal show we could make it to. Tracy isn't the hugest metal fan on the face of the planet. She likes metal, but I don't know if she's been to metal shows in the past, I haven't known her for all that long. I can assure she's not in our band just to "boost her ego" or anything like that, she just loves music and singing in general, we met her and became friends, and we asked her to join our band. 
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« Reply #20 on: February 26, 2006, 07:17:32 PM »

I think you're a rad guitar player,  just for the record.

Talent wise, the two guitars and bass playing in your band is hard to match, I know I can't pull off the shit that you can.

I don't think you come on saskmetal enough to realize how much of an asshole I am.

Ask the PP, he knows what I'm talking about.
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« Reply #21 on: February 26, 2006, 07:30:13 PM »

Allright, after re-reading my post...it was uncalled for.

I think that you guys should rethink your overall approach to song writing in some aspects.  And if you're the guy with the two ridiculously nice Jacksons then start singing alot more.  Cause quite frankly you have the best clean voice in the band.  I feel if you're going to branch off into different styles of music...throw some jazz into the mix really quick and then get the fuck back into metal...keep it interesting by going back and forth (See the band "Ephel Duath" for what I mean.)

Upon further reflection, I shouldn't have made that post.

Besides, Cessate is really the band I dislike the most.

Fucking twats should stay in PA,
« Last Edit: February 26, 2006, 07:32:30 PM by OnceFallen » Logged
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« Reply #22 on: February 26, 2006, 09:21:21 PM »

dude, i for once agree with Kevin....Ev, hook up some Ephal Duath shit! that's the mad hotts! and throw in some TBLU for good measure

OH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
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« Reply #23 on: February 26, 2006, 09:33:28 PM »

I'd like to point out that you (Naiomi) have never seen me play my set and then leave right away and not come back, because I strongly agree with staying until the end for the rest of the bands.  So I do stay.

I'd like to point out that I (Naiomi) at no point in time mentioned any band or any band member specifically by name, and if I had done so, the words "Kevin" and "OnceFallen" would never have appeared in that post anyways. 

Unless I had ended my post with "p.s. On an unrelated note, that KevinOnceFallen guy is a wanker." 
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« Reply #24 on: February 26, 2006, 09:42:48 PM »

I knew from the first post that this was directed at us. In our defense, or our singers defense, us and Tracy both realize it looks bad that she's had to take off right after our set at our shows so far. This doesn't mean she doesn't want to stick around, or doesn't like the other bands, or has no respect for the other bands. She has had other things she has had to get to on those nights and wasn't able to stick around. She's always fairly busy and it just so happens on these nights she was busy. She'll be sticking around at our future shows whenever she can. She wants to.

I can assure you, it wasn't directed at the band as a whole, but since it's been openly stated, then yes, this post was directly inspired by Tracy.  I wasn't wanting to bring names into it or make it personal in any way.  Because it's not just her who is guilty of it.   I HAVE seen other members of other bands do this and it has gotten under my skin and made me lose respect for them as part of the local scene.  The reason for me posting this now, however, is a direct result of me being at the last two Activate shows, which occurred in close proximity to each other, and seeing Tracy only for as long as she is on stage and then leaving, which to me has made it seem like she's only there for one purpose, which is to get on stage and leave, without giving a fuck about the other bands.  So the post is basically a result of having seen it from others before and being annoyed by it, but then by seeing it happen at shows that are so close to each other, it became something I wanted to post about.  if that clarifies and makes any sense at all...

But yeah, it DOES look really bad, and people DO take notice.  But in the end, I appreciate you posting in response to this and explaining that her taking off from shows isn't the act of disrespect that it appeared to be.
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« Reply #25 on: February 26, 2006, 09:44:54 PM »

Nairobi just shut up and wave your hands  cheesy
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« Reply #26 on: February 26, 2006, 09:46:37 PM »

Diggles, just shut up and steal that dude's found bumbeer slurpee.
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« Reply #27 on: February 26, 2006, 09:48:52 PM »

I'm not saying I'm above stealing somebodies liquor, but you couldn't even pay me enough to drink from a bottle previously sipped on by that douche
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« Reply #28 on: February 26, 2006, 10:24:55 PM »

dude, i for once agree with Kevin


Ted, you douchebag, we agreed on Cephalic Carnage once too.
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« Reply #29 on: February 26, 2006, 10:25:50 PM »

Nairobi just shut up and wave your hands  cheesy


HA! ©Cryptopchick Ent.
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« Reply #30 on: February 26, 2006, 10:26:21 PM »

I'd like to point out that I (Naiomi) at no point in time mentioned any band or any band member specifically by name, and if I had done so, the words "Kevin" and "OnceFallen" would never have appeared in that post anyways. 

Unless I had ended my post with "p.s. On an unrelated note, that KevinOnceFallen guy is a wanker." 


Quit sassin' me.


Assface
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« Reply #31 on: February 26, 2006, 11:51:49 PM »

I was just sayin' is all... grin
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« Reply #32 on: February 27, 2006, 12:01:32 AM »

See what you do Naomi?Huh??hahahaha  good points..
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« Reply #33 on: February 27, 2006, 01:00:48 AM »

Fucking twats should stay in PA,

Good idea. lol
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« Reply #34 on: February 27, 2006, 07:54:19 AM »

With all due respect to the members of this forum and local bands as a whole, this thread is completely pointless and stupid.
« Last Edit: February 27, 2006, 07:56:01 AM by Chad » Logged

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